Slurpy Soup: a story, by Captain Dan

Soup was the go-to lunch almost everyday when I was a kid.  and I liked it, who doesn't like soup?

You would THINK that would be a rhetorical question, but WAIT.  There's MORE.

*SOMEBODY* *SOMEWHERE* must dislike and disapprove of soup for some bizarre reason.  You are aware of how children can be.  "This soup is too soupy."

In my case, I had the same issue with peanut butter and jelly.  I'm SORRY.  I just don't like it.  My mother used to have to make me ketchup and mustard sandwiches instead.  Not kidding, it's true.

But as Campbell's USED to say (why did they stop?)

Soup Is Good Food.


Here are some of my real life soup memories and other soup-related happenings.

Let's go through the soups.

#1 Chicken Noodle

I refused to eat it, and don't know why.  I don't dislike it.  I guess I just it was too "plain" for lunchtime.  I thought that Cheerios were too plain for breakfast time, and that dry mashed potatoes were too plain for dinner time.  Hated gravy, I didn't understand what it was.  So then as an adult, I became a comedian that loves potatoes and is afraid of clowns.

Issues.

#2 TOMATO soup

The thing with tomato and certain other soups is that you can mix stuff in and make it extra fancy. CRACKERS #1 example.  But also sometimes I would get to have macaroni in the tomato soup and would feel so happy, My birthday, Christmas, etc.

#3 Vegetable soup

Vegetable soup is fascinating as a child because there's so many things IN it.  I remember liking the lima beans best because they were neat-looking and also the rarest.  Like the Crunchberries in Captain Crunch. You KNOW that you get to have SOME, but you only get so MANY!  Gotta conserve.

#4 Beef Barley

Nothing to say, get it out.

#5 Minestrone

The champion of soups.  How come no one, male or female, is named "Minestrone."  Imagine someone named "Minestrone Jones" scoring the winning touchdown in the Superbowl.  Since I recognize that I have no power to make such a thing happen, I will just continue to worry about other things instead.

Thank you.

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